Rantings of the mind

I just want to escape from reality. The reality that hits me so hard. The reality that leaves me stressed and worried. The reality that makes me think about my responsibilities and goal. The stress of being left alone ,  the anxiety of being in crowds,  the fear of being a passing cloud, Everything flashes as quick as lightning.  The stress of being not enough, the anxiety about the future, the fear of getting distracted from goal, I'm just thrown in the deep end. And then I realise, 'there is no way to escape reality'.

Today, I got an opportunity to attend a writing workshop, by Christian Rechenmacher (an artist from Austria), that was coordinated by our dear Prof. Christina Dhanasekaran. It was a wonderful experience. The artist provided great insightful thoughts on the way of writing. Apart from the workshop, I was particularly awestruck by the way the artist provided space for everyone to ask questions. She did not discourage anyone. Every question was considered valid. She answered each and every question very patiently. If the opinion shared by a student was good, she appreciated them. My mind drifted back to the words of one of my professors who taught me during the fifth semester in college.  " Everyone is right at some point or the other. So do not think that you are right always." These words always echo in my mind whenever I disagree with people over something.  At times, people tend to think that they are always right and they do not consider the opinion of the other person. They...

Today I went to the canteen with my friends... The uncle who gave out food forgot to give a paper plate... My friends told me to ask for it...  I don't know why but I didn't want to ask him.. So one of my friends asked the uncle and got it from him...  After today's incident I was thinking about myself...  My friends tell me that I am an extrovert.. But at times I feel like an ambivert.. However my friends wouldn't approve that (lol). Maybe I can talk easily to people without being awkward. I don't know. I think that the reason for this attitude must be my hatred towards being alone. I do not enjoy solitude at all... I love talking a lot so I always need a company... I feel very awkward walking alone somewhere... Even before today's incident, I had already done a lot of research online to prove people that I am not an extrovert... I found a term called " introverted extrovert ".  An introverted extrovert, also called an “outgoing introvert” or “ambiver...

There was a time when I spoke to everyone .. to make sure that things are okay.. There was a time when I put all my efforts to be the best version of myself in front of people... There was a time when I thought that it was necessary to put everyone above myself... But then I realised that effort and commitment is important in every relationship( friends, family)... Communication, commitment and efforts play a major role in the life of every individual.. The efforts they put to make you happy and to clear the misunderstandings and the commitment they exhibit to fulfill the promises... Now I do talk ...but it is limited to a few people. I do put efforts ...but they are only to make my dear ones happy. I do value everyone ...but I realised that I'm the most important person ... I realised my worth.. So I don't think that I should be worried about what others think or assume... I don't know and I don't care.