Rantings of the mind

"There was a time when we were inseparable, when every little detail of our lives was shared without hesitation.  But now, things have changed. I tried to understand, to give you space, thinking maybe it was just a phase. But every delayed reply, every plan made without me, every moment of laughter I wasn’t included in made it clear. And when I finally gathered the courage to ask why, you didn’t offer an explanation. Instead, you turned it into your own tragedy: how you felt overwhelmed, how you were struggling, how it wasn’t about me but about your own issues. Every time, it became about how you were the victim. But if that was the case, why was it only me being left behind?   I never wanted to make you feel guilty.  I just wanted honesty, a real conversation, a chance to understand. But instead, I was met with avoidance, silence, and excuses wrapped in self-pity. You never took responsibility, never acknowledged how your actions hurt. Maybe that’s the hardest part ...

 It was our last hall event in college yesterday. Everyone has been telling me from the very beginning of this semester itself that they will miss this place and the memories they made.. I don't know. I have never felt bad about leaving this place.  After my 12th grade, I was sad that my school life had come to an end. I had literally spend more than a decade there. But then I realised that I was just leaving the place. I thought that my friends and the bond I shared with them would still be the same.  In reality what happened was that, after school, everyone got busy with their own life. Only 2 or 3 friends stayed the same and are still in contact. In fact we never met after school. The last time I met them was during the last day of school( May 23, 2022: My birthday, pure coincidence) Yet they are still the same. With no complaints, no ego. So what I'm trying to say is that moving from one place to another gives us a lot of memories and lessons too. No matter wherever y...

 Today, I didn't know what to write actually.. So I'm just sharing a random thought that came across my mind. I have heard a lot of people say,  "I regret that decision so much"  "I regret to have known that person" and so on.. But I personally think that we should not regret anything...  Sometimes the decision you made might not have been right.. But it seemed right to you at that point... It made you happy..  You might come across 'familiar strangers' in life, who were your happy place once.. They can be your friends, relatives or someone else. You don't want them in your life anymore but you don't hate them .. And you still wish for their well-being...  So there is nothing to regret at all..  The people you meet and the decisions you make give you plenty of lessons for life and it will help you grow... A lesson or memory for life or a success or bond for life... Whatever it might be.. Do not regret.

Today, I got an opportunity to attend a writing workshop, by Christian Rechenmacher (an artist from Austria), that was coordinated by our dear Prof. Christina Dhanasekaran. It was a wonderful experience. The artist provided great insightful thoughts on the way of writing. Apart from the workshop, I was particularly awestruck by the way the artist provided space for everyone to ask questions. She did not discourage anyone. Every question was considered valid. She answered each and every question very patiently. If the opinion shared by a student was good, she appreciated them. My mind drifted back to the words of one of my professors who taught me during the fifth semester in college.  " Everyone is right at some point or the other. So do not think that you are right always." These words always echo in my mind whenever I disagree with people over something.  At times, people tend to think that they are always right and they do not consider the opinion of the other person. They...

Today I went to the canteen with my friends... The uncle who gave out food forgot to give a paper plate... My friends told me to ask for it...  I don't know why but I didn't want to ask him.. So one of my friends asked the uncle and got it from him...  After today's incident I was thinking about myself...  My friends tell me that I am an extrovert.. But at times I feel like an ambivert.. However my friends wouldn't approve that (lol). Maybe I can talk easily to people without being awkward. I don't know. I think that the reason for this attitude must be my hatred towards being alone. I do not enjoy solitude at all... I love talking a lot so I always need a company... I feel very awkward walking alone somewhere... Even before today's incident, I had already done a lot of research online to prove people that I am not an extrovert... I found a term called " introverted extrovert ".  An introverted extrovert, also called an “outgoing introvert” or “ambiver...

There was a time when I spoke to everyone .. to make sure that things are okay.. There was a time when I put all my efforts to be the best version of myself in front of people... There was a time when I thought that it was necessary to put everyone above myself... But then I realised that effort and commitment is important in every relationship( friends, family)... Communication, commitment and efforts play a major role in the life of every individual.. The efforts they put to make you happy and to clear the misunderstandings and the commitment they exhibit to fulfill the promises... Now I do talk ...but it is limited to a few people. I do put efforts ...but they are only to make my dear ones happy. I do value everyone ...but I realised that I'm the most important person ... I realised my worth.. So I don't think that I should be worried about what others think or assume... I don't know and I don't care.